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So mushy and green just another legume

You have to deskin it with a knife and then with a spoon?!

Alikend to double denim, we never thought it would return to fashion,

However all the millennials consume it with such zest, such a passion.

Paired with a bacon and a poached egg or a freshly tossed salad

This isn’t an ode to this vegetable, it’s more like a ballad.

Traditionally served as a light bite, this versatile green can be found at breakfast lunch or even dinner,

It’s texture is far too delicate to find itself in a salad spinner

Season with pepper, maybe a sprinkle of salt,

Say that it’s smashed and the 20 somethings will bolt

It can’t be that expensive, how much do you say?

And yet they fork it out and constantly pay.

If your gram is lacking, a pic of this is surely the winner,

It adds a certain je ne sais quoi to your dull and boring dinner

Nothing rhymes with this product, it’s an aloof tasty treat 

Made fashionable by the most pretentious humans that you ever did meet 

This poor little veg just wants to make it in this space

However the little avocado never knew his notoriety would accelerate at this ridiculous pace 

Music Festival


I pull on my back pack, tick glitter off my list

Look at my pals, this is a weekend not to be missed

Stumble over my wellies, feel the first blister form

Don’t care about the pain, for this experience I was born

Past the gates and security, we amble in 

A couple of baggys unnoticed in our peanut butter tin

Look at the map, set up camp here

Kick off our tents and sip the first fresh cold beer

Feel the sun beating down on our  faces

This is one of my favourite places

Yesterday’s socks and Fridays hair

COME ON i here them shout, they're playing over THERE

Rush into the crowd, push through to the front 

A pint of piss thrown over me, oi stop that you…!

Mosh pit breaks out, we are in the thick of it

Manage to scramble out, with my cigarette still lit

Night creeps in, lights flood from food vans help us see

Dropped a pill with the girls maybe two maybe three

Feel us all floating on a psychedelic trip

Omg did you see that boy he is so fit

Grab the poor lad and we dance all through the night 

Now this night begins to take flight 

However one last question hangs on my mind..

Hey baby where do you wanna go?

Your tent or mine?

Equal Lighter


Eat your food, smile, speak when spoken too

Don’t be argumentative, or have too many ideas that are new

Be polite, gracious, mind ya Ps and Qs

Remember your check list of don’t and do’s

Push yourself and cultivate your talent

Execute everything with poise and balance

When you achieve make sure you are humble

For expressing yourself too much, will be a stumble

When people tell you you have excelled and done well

Act shocked, apologetic even

Keep them under your spell

No wonder we reach our 20s and our self esteem is still low

No wonder I stopped trying before I’ve had a go

Statistically, boys are more likely to apply for jobs they are unqualified for 

And even if girls have the right credentials,

They will still choose not to open that door

I’ve heard people say ‘she has such talent and the best thing about it is that she doesn’t know’

God if I ever hear that - I will point out that it’s not a compliment it’s a blow

Shout about your achievements, your growth and your learning

Leave your audience shocked, appalled even, and always leave them yearning

We shouldn’t be taught to keep our ideas quiet 

We need to foster them, scream out loud. And make a bloody big riot.